i have lost. i decided i will not continue with all this anymore. i have had enough. what you tell me was a clear indication for me to let go. the way we behave in front of each other told me that its never gonna be more than that. its so funny.. i knew it all along. but i still carried on with the hope of maybe maybe that the feelings would be the same. haha i am so so silly. how would it be the same? i am so dumb to trick myself and deceive myself all this while. well i have told myself to be stronger min by min, hour by hour, night by night. one day i will not need you. the way i didnt need him. well but will i regret the same way i did for the past few years. haha a repeat of my nightmare? has it come back to haunt me? i am so afraid that i hate to let go. after all its just a simple question of whether to let go or not? just answer it. i always had answers for my friends. when it comes to my own i just cant decide. how dumb how stupid sometimes we all can be. what seems like a dream was after all another nightmare. i had never guessed that you would be the one to replace him. its so werid how i always thought he was the one. but now that history is repeating itself.. who is going to make me forget you? to make me happy the way you did to make me laugh at myself to be the light in my life to comfort and tell me jokes? now that i am going to let ya go who is going to care? well now i just pray each night for courage to face the day tml for strenght to continue to smile and laugh to be able to concentrate on my work.